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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't remember what time the sun was set to rise this morning. But then it dawned on me."

"What do you do when a blonde girl throws a grenade at you You pull the pin and throw it back"

"What do little miss muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have curds in their whey."

"You know what I like most about people? Their Pets."

"You can't tell me I neglect my children. Nobody else knows where they are either."

"I want to make a BDSM joke but I keep getting tied up on the punchline"

"[Game of Thrones Spoiler ALL BOOKS Fan Theory] Benjen, Bran, Daario, Euron, Syrio, Jaqen, and Coldhands walk into a restaurant.. and say: ""Table for one, please."""

"I thought this hot Egyptian chick was hitting on me but she was just trying to lure me into a pyramid scheme. :("

"Wedding day Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't that great, but let me tell ya the reception was great."

"I wish that regular church goers would stay home at Easter so that those of us who only come once a year can get in the building."