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Joke of the Day

"A mugged turtle.. A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, ""I don't know. It all happened so fast."""

Next Joke
 
"Just took an opposite selfie of something I saw. Elsie? Otherie? Seeie? Oh, photo. Got it."
"Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time"" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)"
"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"
"QUESTION: Why should a honeymoon only be six days? ANSWER: Because seven days makes a whole week."
"Why did the smartphone go to jail... [OC] Because it was charged with battery"
"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that i have it."
"Call me self-indulgent, but I only stay in motels that advertise ""color TV"" and ""air-conditioning"" on their sign out front."
"TIFU by sleeping with my Crush Now there's orange soda all over my bed. :("
"Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they disappear."