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Joke of the Day

"Just took an opposite selfie of something I saw. Elsie? Otherie? Seeie? Oh, photo. Got it."

"My penis is only four inches But some girls like it that wide."

"I signed up today for a college American Fiction Literature class, apparently it was a really popular class. It was LIT AF"

"What Did the Fish Say When He Swam into a Wall? Damn."

"No, YOUUU had a kid just so you could have someone to eat pizza and play video games with"

"You can't afford a bar of soap, but Beer,, Cigarettes,, & $700 worth of tattoos is not a problem?.. This is why sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for most people"

"If you ate a tart, never eat another one. Trust me, you don't want to me retarted."

"What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Why does the New York Times hire Jews? So they can put out a paper on December 26th."

"I think my vibrator has Parkinson's."