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Joke of the Day

"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"

"What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party."

"You wanna know how I hold my liquor? By the ears :p"

"There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016."

"Donald trump wins presidency"

"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Smallpox."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift."

"Maybe installing Freudian Autocorrect was not the breast idea."