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Joke of the Day

"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't."

"What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch? Namaste"

"What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes."

"What is Mario's favorite search browser? YYYYAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I will leave now)"

"I shared a banana with my Dad today... He had the inside bit again :( (Joke courtesy of the hysterical 'Adam Hess')"

"They laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... They're not laughing now."

"How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn? They kick a Can"

"*open up knapsack and a parachute comes out* Kid: But that means- *Dad is hurtling towards the ground with a sandwich and apple*"