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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a minimalist joke? What's the difference between oranges?"

"Just accidentally threw an 'xo' in a text to a dude. Guess I have to fuck him now."

"Happy Mother's Day Reddit! What did you get your mom?"

"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."

"I hate it when people make eye puns... It really makes me *lash* out sometimes"

"Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune? She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement."

"So I talked to a prostitute that was a prophet today... She told me that I would succeed. EDIT: A religion flair?"

"Looked at changing my name to Bieber so I could get RT'd. Realized I can't b/c I have a penis."

"What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?"

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well !!!"