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Joke of the Day

"Giving birth? Passing a gallstone? Monica Seles tennis match? Possible scenarios from sounds emitted from chic on elliptical next to me"

"I've never laughed at anything any of you losers have posted here on this forum. It's sad as fuck."

"Where do pencils go for vacation? Pencil-vania."

"Two Bar S truck drivers get caught in a snowstorm. Stranded for days. They cannibalize each other than eat their product."

"What does a Jamaican Liar sit on? Deceit."

"Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning"

"I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed"

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control."

"Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard."

"How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer!"