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Joke of the Day
"What do you call it when alpacas with speech impediments take over Earth? The Alpacalisp."
Next Joke
"Roses are red, Violets are blue Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo"
"Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. ""Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"""
"Time flies when a falcon steals your wristwatch."
"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus wiping off Klingons"
"what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork Ill show^myself^out"
"My vegan friend asked me if I've met his new girlfriend I said I've never seen herbivore"
"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Of course you did. I saw him the other day at the mall making balloon animals. He says hi."
"*DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd ""awws""] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd ""oohs""] *wins $1*"
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'd love to be the bear of bad news. ""The bad news is, you're gonna need stitches. RAWR!"""