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Joke of the Day

"My friend offered to let me rent 2 of his ermines. He is now the lessor of two weasels."

"5 birds are on a fence, you shoot one, how many are left. None they all flew away."

"If he marries someone else, raises a family, and leads a very fulfilling life, maybe he's just not that into you."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. (Stolen from my science textbook)"

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"Did you hear about the shooting at the blind school? They never saw it coming."

"Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name."

"The Wall Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country."

"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"My girlfriend left me when I refused to go the gym with her. It's a shame our relationship didn't work out."