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Joke of the Day

"We are happily married She's happy, and I am married!"

"i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha"

"What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do!"

"We should hold a reddit-wide vote on whether or not to bring back the upvote/downvote counter. But how will we count the votes?"

"Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?"

"Statistics show that 73% of people don't have enough fibre in their diets. Ah well, tough shit"

"Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified. *-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TEN TICKLES!!"

"Happy Birthday Ray Rice! I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough."

"Before scientists discovered... Before scientists discovered that the ""I before E except after C"" rule wasn't universal, they were called sceintists."