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Joke of the Day

"Happy Birthday Ray Rice! I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough."

"Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary? They couldn't afford it."

"What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants! "

"The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest."

"What was Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes? Because they take everything literally."

"To all the Moms: ""Happy Mothers Day""! And to all the Dads: ""Happy Sunday.. Mother FuKers""!!"

"In response to /u/WisestAirBender, ""Backwards"" is also a palindrome. ""Backwards"" spelled backwards is ""Sdrawkcab"", which is still backwards."

"Modi/Nawaz Sharif Nawaz Sharif to Modi: ""Congratualations on penetrating into Mars. Whats your next target?"" Modi: Uranus."

"I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits."