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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels!"

"[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!"

"Granddad once told me there's one requirement for a funny joke... And it's telling it in a funny voice."

"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"

"""Tired"" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point."

"What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*"

"I'm always Frank with my partners. I don't want them knowing my real name now do I?"

"My version of cyber-bullying is running around inside a Starbucks slamming people's laptops shut."

"My name is Bjorn and I used to live in California I was Bjorn in the U.S.A. I was Bjorn in the U.S.A. I was Bjorn in the U.S.A."