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Joke of the Day

"Granddad once told me there's one requirement for a funny joke... And it's telling it in a funny voice."

"One good turn gets most of the blankets."

"Jewish Pun What did Hitler say when the Jews got away? Aushwitz, they got away!"

"Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator.. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"What do you call a Jewish person who is suicidal? A Yamikaze."

"ME: Hi, come get me. This house is weird and someone is snoring. MOM: Honey, for the last time you're not at a sleepover. You're married."

"My wife's always walking into things and getting hurt. Today it was our bedroom while I was fucking her sister."

"Caught myself yelling ""FUCK YOU"" to my burrito for dripping on pants, feet & bed, if you were wondering who's raising the next generation."

"Lost and confused in an helicopter"

"What do you call a really expensive tombstone? A R.I.P off."