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Joke of the Day

"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"

"How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages"

"I could live in this house for a million years and still second guess which switch is for the garbage disposal every time."

"Hitler was the original Social Justice Warrior Adolf Hitler is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged."

"I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime."

"First blowjob Guy: I got my first blowjob today. Friend: Was she good? Guy: She sucks."

"DOCTOR: a new study says the meds ur on cause hallucinations ME: oh LARGE MENACING CACTUS THAT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE: was it peer reviewed?"

"You wanna hear a disappointing joke with an anticlimactic punchline? Okay."

"My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. We could never get him to talk about it."

"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"