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Joke of the Day

"[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up"

"How do you call a USB stick in Russia? A put-in"

"Ken Cross' AMA That's it."

"How did Jennifer Aniston find her fiancee? She looked very Theroux-ly."

"two peanuts walk into a bar one was a salted"

"Three words What are three words that kills a guy's confidence... ""Is it in?"" Three words to kill a girl's confidence... ""I don't know"""

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

"Chuck Norris can clear 5 lines at once in tetris."

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Grandma's beating off the Indians but they're still coming."

"They call me Moses. Cause I parted that Red Sea last night."