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Joke of the Day

"A lot of women are turning into good drivers. So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning women!"

"My buddy went to a Halloween party as Jesus on the cross... Everyone said he pretty much nailed it"

"WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE'S FRIEND: she's eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That's how numbers work"

"What do Japanese people call.. -What do Japanese people call their japs eye? -My eye"

"What do you call a penis potato? A dictator!"

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you are gay. (I'm a terrible person.)"

"If being a success was a sound, I bet it would sound a lot like this air pump I'm using to inflate my new furniture."

"Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio."

"What's the best part of twenty eight year old chicks? There's twenty of them."

"Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic? He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere."