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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of laziness is"

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"What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa? Santa Claws"
"I went to the psychiatrist today I told him that I have started hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist."
"Jared from subway... He'll be getting used to a new style of footlong HIYOO"
"If you don't know what an prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."
"What do you and Ronda Rousey have in common? You will both be watching the next title fight from home."
"women rights"
"Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome."
"Why do black men only have nightmares? Because the last black man to have a dream got shot."
"What actor touches every girl on set? David Cop-a-feel"