211967
Joke of the Day
"Just got my first pair of bifocals (nsfw) and boy do they make my cock look huge"
Next Joke
"You know the 4 quarters Lebron joke, how about the Dirk one? I asked Dirk for change for a dollar; he gave me 4 quarters and a dime. He always gives any extra 10%."
" And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court "
"Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture."
"I told my girlfriend I would get a picture of her on my new debit card... So that even if we break-up, she'll still be taking my money."
"Remember before Ebola, when we just had bola? Technology changes everything."
"What do you call Zombie Japanese Chefs? the Woking Dead"
"Why was the hipster drinking milk? He liked Ice Cream before it was cool"
"A penny saved is a penny that will sit around in a jar for five years ;)"
"8: hey dad can you make me a sandwich? me: poof! you're a sandwich 8: .... me: no"