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Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend I would get a picture of her on my new debit card... So that even if we break-up, she'll still be taking my money."

"Nowadays these adverts don't even make sense. The other day I saw this advert that said. The mother of all broadband! Virgin."

"Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me ""The defendant"" for a full day."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards Because if they fall forward they fall in the boat dumbass."

"Umm Leo, there has been a mistake... Steve Harvey wrote the cards."

"When do you stop at green, and go at red? when eating watermelon"

"Girlfriend is on her way over. Aaaaaaannd history deleted."

"Sometimes I'll catch my reflection in a mirror and I'll be like, ""oh no, that can't be right."""

"What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college? Bison!"

"What do you call 1000 Jews on a train? It doesn't matter, they're never coming back."