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Joke of the Day

"I put on Shrek and fell asleep. I woke up and it was over. I ogre slept."

"What did the brown dwarf say to the bartender? I'd like a Corona, please."

"Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"A gerund, infinitive, and a past participle walk into a bar. Drinking, to drink, to get drunk"

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"[Jesus on a blind date] Christians: ""Hmm, you seemed whiter in your profile picture"""

"WARNING: If someone sends a link to download the new Nickelback single, DON'T CLICK ON IT! It's a link to download the new Nickelback single"

"""Are we going the right way, Yoda?"" ""Off course, we are!"" Happy May 4th everyone"

"Me: Ping me when you are free. Girl:Ok. *Starts working in 2 Shifts*"

"I bought some ""no more tears"" shampoo but her hair still tore right out!"