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Joke of the Day

"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify."

"Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases? It runs in the Jeans."

"Men love when you kiss their neck.. Just not when they're driving And you're in the backseat. And they don't know you. Apparently."

"I think my optometrist is in love with me. Every time I leave his office he hands me a bottle of contact solution and says ""Eye care for you"""

"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning"

"Why do British prostitutes always carry Vaseline? Because their lips have so many chaps on them!"

"What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a homosexual? A megasauranus."

"Got bored last night and tried looking up the spanish translation of ""do not use"", but it ended up being no use."

"adulthood is just eating a taco where the toppings keep falling out and then death"

"Without that little voice in your head, you wouldn't be able to read this."