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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an ""Ooh"" and an ""Aah""? About 5 inches."

"There's plenty more fish in the sea ""Actually we've 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod"" I'm bad at consoling dumped friends"

"Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic Christian? .... who worshipped the almighty 'Dog'."

"Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day? Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom."

"Wedding day Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't that great, but let me tell ya the reception was great."

"Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"If your conspiracy theory doesn't involve cats, don't bother me."

"How many Grateful Dead Fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just watch it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?"