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Joke of the Day

"What is the best way to fuck a girl with no arms or legs? Throw her in a lake."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Who needs light bulbs under a glass ceiling?"

"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide"

"I married Mrs. Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always"

"What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject? The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to ""tell us about yourself."""

"Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says ""Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"""

"A fish lost it's body part. Fin."

"I went to the doctor this morning and I have mono. At my age I think I should have surround sound."

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane? Soon to be detained for flying home to his family in Houston after a business trip."