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Joke of the Day

"I married Mrs. Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always"

"My girlfriend wanted to join the Mile High Club... But I didn't give a flying fuck."

"What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby? You can't fuck a rock ..."

"ME: I know it's probably the beer talking, but you look beautiful tonight! BEER: Hey buddy, don't be putting words in my mouth now."

"*seductively tries to take off sock with his other foot*"

"Did you hear about the new car that instead of using gas, runs on Carbon, Oxygen, Carbon, and Potassium? It's a real guzzler."

"Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas"

"Is Kevin James the only Flintstones character who has actually come to life?"

"""Every cloud has a silver lining."" - Terribly inaccurate meteorologist"

"Math/music joke: What do you get when you subtract original blues from modern blues? Delta blues."