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Joke of the Day
"I went to the doctor this morning and I have mono. At my age I think I should have surround sound."
Next Joke
"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are together in a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. No land in sight. No ships in sight. Who survives? The American people."
"How does Moses prepare his coffee? Hebrews it."
"What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film."
"What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky? Just-ice"
"okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?"
"These ebola jokes are terrible! They're making my eyes bleed"
"For my next magic trick i'll need a condom and a volunteer."
"My cat is 11 and still only has one word, should I be worried."
"What is the difference between my grandma and a newborn baby? When I fuck my grandma up the ass she doesn't die."