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Joke of the Day
"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"
Next Joke
"""Oh love what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ""I don't know but I promise I'll never do it again."""
"It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page."
"Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter? Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation."
"Why don't you ever watch old people have sex? You ever spread open a grilled cheese?"
"Thinking about making a sitcom where two mermaid guys are roommates and calling it ""tuna half men"""
"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"
"If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'"
"I couldn't bear it anymore. Lol. - Bear suicide note."
"What do you call a racist 19th century artist? Oppressionist"