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Joke of the Day

"I left my job today. I couldn't work for that man anymore after what he said to me... ""You're fired!"""

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out! *guy looks back and laughs, the door punches him in the back of the head*"

"My son just walked in crying, saying he was scared as Trump won. I said, fuck off, you're 22 & British. Oh yes he replied & went to work."

"I just made a scathing video mocking the Amish I can't wait till they see it"

"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."

"How do you call an unfanny comedian? A youtuber."

"Bestiality People who take part in bestiality are fucking animals!"

"How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to manufacture it first."

"Knock Knock, ""Who's there?"" ""Gladiator"" ""Gladiator who?"" ""Gladiator, before going to the gang bang"""

"If Reddit up/down voting were to be applied in real life as an immediate feedback of the spoken word crowed subway trains would be a much quieter place."