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Joke of the Day

"Stepping on a #LEGO sucks. But showing a bunch of kids I know how to use the F word as a noun/verb/adjective in one sentence is good, right?"

"I make weak food puns They're never stroganoff."

"A Nobel prize winner posts to Reddit... (Fart sounds)"

"Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory."

"Sometimes i feel like girls are like oscars And im leonardo dicaprio :("

"What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely? An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible...."

"""The captain of the Titanic just checked into an iceberg on Foursquare with 2,224 other people."" - Twitter, 1912"

"3 Jews walk into a bar... Just kidding it was a gas chamber"

"What should you care? My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."

"Why cant miss piggy count to 70? Because when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat."