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Joke of the Day

"Dear Crush, If your ""shower brb"" was intended to make me imagine you naked.. Mission accomplished!"""

"If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world."

"What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen? Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen."

"Has mankind ever fallen further short of his potential than ""second verse same as the first?"""

"hey it's me, the girl who just googled ""chemistry alphabet"" when i meant ""periodic table"""

"Fur Coats will make you into a Man They really put hair on your chest."

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"Policeman: Now sir how did you come to have this accident? Motorist: Well the sign just there says `Stop ? Look ? Listen'. And while I was doing that the train hit me."

"What do you call a chicken coop with four doors? A chicken sedan"

"Saw a hitchhiker holding a sign Anywhere But Here' So I swerved, hit him. Now he's in a ditch. Hope that's ok, he wasn't really specific."