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Joke of the Day

"Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he's a great dentist so I let it go."

"After the ""incident"" at the family cabin, my Indian name is Bounces Off Deck."

"The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything! Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi...."

"Optimism The eternal belief that you're always one-third of the way to a threesome."

"wife: I saw in my dream that you were buying a diamond ring for me Husband: I saw your dad paying the bill... :D"

"""Babe there's something I've always wanted to do.."" *tenderly moves her bangs away from her eyes then scotch tapes them to her forehead*"

"What's pink, wrinkly, hairy, smells of pee, and hangs out you boxers? Either your mum, your wife or you."

"Have we tried unplugging coma victims and plugging them in again? Works for my computer."

"Do I believe in free will? Well I have no choice."

"What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette? *Gluten tag*"