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Joke of the Day

"""Ice, Ice, Baby, Vanilla, Ice, Ice, Baby."" - Worst cocktail recipe ever"

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"What do you call a cute shortcoming? Flaww"
"Why are atoms untrustworthy? They make up everything. Credit to /u/ipsokinetikon from an askreddit thread about what not to trust."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you."
"What did the barfly say to the other barfly? I saved you a stool."
"Dozing off during Sportscenter and waking up an hour later in the same clip is every guy's version of Memento."
"All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They're even ""fast"" asleep!"
"What do you call food between two slices of bread? a sandwich"
"When I jerk off I'm not a fancy restaurant about it, I'm more like McDonalds Fast, easy, and you don't have to get out of the car"
"How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well it depends on what you mean by change."