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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Adolf Hitler with a tree? A cunttree"

"What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer? Shoes wisely"

"What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead."

"Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not."

"Fun Fact: You can edit and crop a selfie so that we aren't able to see the cataclysmic disaster of dirty clothes in the background!"

"I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta when cooking, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight""I got extra."

"What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends? A homie missile."

"What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeee"

"It's complicated having sex with hipsters. They don't like things that are ""in""."

"hey baby. ever been with a man who uses the basket instead of a grocery cart. Im basically bicep curling these chickpeas haha its easy to me"