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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you breed a hedgehog and a grass snake? *Interbreed. A meter of barbed wire. It's funnier in Russian"

"As I've gotten older, my answer to any problem, more and more, is ""burn it down""."

"My goal in life is always turn the negative into the positive... which is why I lost my job at the HIV clinic"

"DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*"

"Have you heard about the Flint, Michigan football team? Their lead is unstoppable!"

"If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail."

"There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns--maybe one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"What's Forrest Gumps password? 1forrest1"

"I ended it after I checked his browser history and found hundreds of video game walk-throughs. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

"My cattle ate my entire pot field. The steaks have never been higher."