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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you breed a hedgehog and a grass snake? *Interbreed. A meter of barbed wire. It's funnier in Russian"

"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"

"What's the key to a great Thanksgiving? Turkey"

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic? He wanders through life wondering if there is a dog"

"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius... ... it only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."

"*looks under bed* *checks closet* *shuts light, runs to bed* *pulls covers over head* *ice maker dumps ice* *dies from cardiac arrest*"

"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"

"Playing Guess Who these days is hard ""Is your person white?"" ""Excuse me?"" ""Is your person white?"" ""I don't see skin color I just see people"""

"How do you spot a meth - head in Wal-Mart... In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel."

"Where do senior citizens often go to the restroom? Depends."