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Joke of the Day

"My mother said fetch me a glass of water... My mother said ""fetch me a glass of water"" and I said ""no"" my mom said ""I bore you for nine months!"" So I said ""you bore me every time you speak!"""

Next Joke
 
"Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared."
"Tiger Woods: He puts the semen in product endorsements. And women. I mean he used to. Crap, can I start over? I've almost got this."
"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"
"My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues."
"What is a Canadian's favourite letter? Eh?"
"""Are there drug dealers on Twitter?"" Asking for 522 friends."
"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not five because my basements still dark..."
"My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger."
"A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of a joke?"""