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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is if the toilet still flushes when the power and gas goes out, why don't we run more things on toilet power?"

"Why does Snoop Dog carry and umbrella? Fo-Drizzle"

"My boss told me to ""dress for the job you want, not the job you have."" Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman."

"A redhead tells her blonde friend she had sex with a Brazilian while on vacation. The blonde says, ""You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sex. Then ask if you're attractive enough. Then ask your doctor for sex."

"My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong."

"I went to an AA meeting, met a lot of batteries"

"What do you call a sink that doesn't work? A faux-cet."

"She wears short skirts I eat pizza She's cheer captain And I'm still eating pizza"