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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is if the toilet still flushes when the power and gas goes out, why don't we run more things on toilet power?"

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"ME: how do u get girls SCUMBAG GUY: gotta brag about the size of ur, ya know...organ [later at the bar] ME: hey baby i got a real big colon"

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"Who's that one armed rockstar drummer? Oh yeah, Phil Rudd. Too soon?"

"I lost 189 lbs in one week. By getting a divorce."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... ...and the mental health system is failing me miserably."

"Doctor doctor I feel like a small bucket. You do look a little pail."

"What do you call toddlers who are dictators? Dictator Tots"

"TRIVIA: The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 cost 1,502 lives. Adjusting for inflation, that would be over 8,500 people today!"