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Joke of the Day

"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses"

"How is a Silver Medal and a Priest the same? They both came in a little behind."

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."

"Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom? Because he couldn't find a Date!"

"Play on Words I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience."

"I remember when [person x] was just *this* big (hold hand at knee level)... Then as I got closer I realized it was a matter of perspective."

"Why don't Black people like to go on cruises? ... Because they're not falling for that one again."

"I'm positive I lost an electron... ...better keep an ion that."

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass!"