186671

Joke of the Day

"I'm positive I lost an electron... ...better keep an ion that."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alan ! Alan who ? Alan a good cause !"

"Realized I never said ""unquote"" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare"

"We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything."

"Hell is just going to be you on a conference call waiting for the 8th guy to dial in for all eternity."

"directions on frozen food need to be more confident. They're like, '11 minutes at 450... but all ovens are different... I'm so stupid.'"

"So I've been clearing out my attic... ... and I've decided to get rid of my hoover- it was just gathering dust."

"Women who don't even acknowledge your existence just want you to try harder. I recommend hiding naked in her closet with a block of cheese."

"Restaurant chain commercials should run the disclaimer ""Actual food might not tumble and splash in slow motion""."

"YYZ was the first song I ever learned -Said no drummer ever."