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Joke of the Day

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"My hammer is alot like my dick... About 20 years old and hooks slightly to the left"

"It is unfair that girls mature faster than boys. Girls get their boobs at 13, and men get their boobs when they're in their 40's"

"Last night I was driving down an old country road when I hit a pedestrian going 50 mph. It seemed to take forever for help to arrive. That's the last time I use that towing company."

"I thought landlady was the opposite of mermaid?"

"Weekend's coming up. Time to surf the real world."

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor (My nephew is watching Spongebob please send help my brain cells are leaving one by one)"

"How do you piss of an archaeologist? Hand him a tampon and ask what period it's from."

"I like my Coffee like I like my women Without a penis."

"My Blonde neighbor says me and my friends suck at basketball. I asked her why and she said, ""Because double teaming is against the rules"""