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Joke of the Day

"Ever look at your frequently used emojis and realize that your two moods are drunk and circus tents?"

"Dear student loan, Thank you for saving my life. I can't think of how I can ever repay you."

"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."

"How can you tell if you're racist? You only pick out the K's when you take an eye exam."

"""I find pleasure in the little things""... ...Said the pedofile to the court."

"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot"

"Calling someone 'one in a million' in China means they aren't that special."

"Patient: Doctor you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want."

"A man goes to the restroom, and leaves his drink with a note ""I spit into it"", to avoid it getting stolen He comes back and finds another note: ""me too"""