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Joke of the Day

"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."

"Probably the worst time to ask ""shouldn't we go on a date first?"" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer."

"What did the Indian say to the nosy foreigner? ""This is ""naan"" of your business."" Sorry if you didn't laugh."

"I'm doing Bikram yoga today. By that I mean I'm in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition."

"Barry decided that because he had talked himself out of suicide every other day, today he would do it. Poor fucker always did take opposite day a bit too seriously."

"MUSLIMS GO HOME! Your spouse called and is fixing dinner early. Please pick up some hummus on your way."

"What do you ask a Mexican girl you like? Netflix and chili?"

"What does someone with a foot fetish wish for? To meet their solemate."

"A good pun... A good pun is its own reword."

"Pity Poor Peter I feel sorry for my friend Peter. His hair's a mess. His family's nuts. His neighbor's an asshole. On bad days, his girlfriend's a c---. And his owner beats him. EDIT: Punctuation."