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Joke of the Day
"""Hey pregnant, I'm dad"" .... .... .... ..... ""Oh god wait."""
Next Joke
"You didn't question the free nachos or the ride in the van. But now that I've got a knife to your throat you're all ""why, why?"""
"What's better than having sex with a 9 year old Vietnamese boy? Nothing."
"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."
"I probably should've said, ""Congrats on your 4th child!"" instead of ""Halfway there, OctoMom""."
"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"
"The irony of war is that The ones who are right are the ones left."
"Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx."
"People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie."
"I'm a die hard Bruce Willis fan."