211201

Joke of the Day

"An old lady at the ATM asked me to help check her balance So I pushed her over."

"I went to my first Muslim birthday party yesterday Most of the party games were normal, but fuck me pass the parcel was scary."

"Him: You're a DJ? I'm not one for dancing. I've got this leg, you see? I've had it since the war. Me: How long have you had the other one?"

"Did you hear about the lonely cow that joined a dating website? She was searching for her udder half."

"Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner"

"What do you call an Asian Terrorist group? Rice-is"

"I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over Hyrule, but for some reason I couldn't click on it I guess the Link was dead"

"I watch doomsday films like there's no tomorrow."

"All these Marvel movies, and they sure are taking their time getting to Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet Don't worry. They'll get there... Avengually."

"She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental."