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Joke of the Day

"I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over Hyrule, but for some reason I couldn't click on it I guess the Link was dead"

"K Wow! Congratulations! With that 0.1 seconds of your life you saved are you gonna go to Mauritius or Hawaii?"

"Christmas Stuff [all] So what's up with all of the Christmas ads and it's not even Guy Fawke's day? Like who thinks of this stuff?"

"I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord."

"Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? "

"GUY WHO INVENTED JACK-O-LANTERNS: I bet this gourd would be cooler if it looked like it wanted to murder me."

"I bet dogs have a really hard time playing Twister Left paw: grey Other left paw: darker grey, but not the darkest grey. Sort of in between"

"Eating McDonald's because you're hungry is exactly like sucking dick because you're lonely That meat is no good for you and I do it about once a month"

"What do you call a Mexican that buys antiques in America? An American Spicker"

"What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? ""Where on Earth have you been??!!"" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!"