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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone that knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify"

"Man walks into taxidermist. Asks a deer ""you want a bite of my sandwich?"" Deer replies ""No thanks I'm STUFFED!"""

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming and flailing about, like his passengers."

"You should always buy very high end speakers It's a sound investment"

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd Never Forget"

"Why did the black kid wish for a white Christmas? Because all his white friends got better gifts than him."

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."

"Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry."

"Sex is like chess You gotta know in which position to put the queen"