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Joke of the Day

"Nice cargo shorts. You may want to dial back that awesome a little. Not really sure how much I can take."

"What do many Asian guys have that's hairy, got two balls, and is smaller than average? A penis."

"I just found out Nicki Minaj isn't animated!"

"If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there'd be no problems."

"Get out, RUN! That DM was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE"

"It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra."

"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald"

"Ab Muscles: You're having ANOTHER cookie? Brain: Yep! Ab Muscles: You're just never planning on seeing us again? Brain: Nope!"

"Classic Russian Reversal Old one, but I still find it funny: In America, you go out to find a party. In Soviet Union, party finds you!"

"Life is a soup And i am a fork"