134526

Joke of the Day

"Reasons to keep spiders around 1. Eat flying insects 2. Occasional source of protein during sleep 3. We make rad webs 4. They do i mean they"

Next Joke
 
"So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense."
"I've installed some complaining-powered lightbulbs in my bedroom They occasionally turn off, but never for more than 5 seconds"
"A friend of mine got married on top of a mountain last year. Aye they say it was all downhill from there."
"I just found a new Batman shampoo... I was so disappointed when I found out they don't make conditioner Gordon."
"To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around."
"I got a haircut recently. I thought it was too short at first, but it's started to grow on me."
"Why is Donald Trump a good candidate? Because if he was bad he'd be a CANTdidate."
"Why Does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle."
"HER: We need to talk. ME: No one actually NEEDS to talk. HER: ... ME: I assume we need to talk longer now."