218648

Joke of the Day

"I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers."

"Small mirror that attaches to head of a phone so you can peripherally experience real life while you're live tweeting it."

"How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)"

"Did Delilah ever tell that guy what New York City is like"

"How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons."

"I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (Oooooo)/ I am four eels/ Never meant to make your daughter cry/ I am several fish and not a guy"

"I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone."

"Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils!"

"6: Dad what's a Kardashian? Me: Nobody really knows... 6: Sounds really stupid Me: I love you"

"What do you call your girlfriend after a tough workout? Sorbet"