162189

Joke of the Day

"On Thursday, the captain of the crashed cruise ship Costa Concordia went back to the wreck for the first time since the accident. Said the captain, ""It looks so different sober."""

"viscoelasticity is a bit creepy"

"Yeah I pee in the shower, but not while I'm in it"

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit. One fly cuts a fart. The other one says, ""Hey! I'm eatin' here!"""

"What's the best part of two lesbians marrying? Two cooks in the house."

"Wanna measure the coefficient of static friction between us?"

"I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too."

"""I'm liking where this is going"" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face."

"What do you call white people on a bench? The NBA"