211057

Joke of the Day

"A guy says to God: ""God... ... to you a minute is like a million years and a penny is like a million dollars. So, could you give me a penny?"" God replies ""Sure, in a minute"""

"What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"What's the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a tree? My dick."

"Ever hear of ""organic"" grapes? Yeah, they're called Raisens."

"What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses? A hip-steer."

"What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas? I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face."

"Donald Trumps favorite movie is E. T. Because the fucking alien went back home!"

"My friend said ""What rhymes with orange?"" I said ""No, it doesn't"""

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ...Nobody likes the dark ones."

"I asked a cute statistician if I could get her phone number. She said probably not."