211057

Joke of the Day

"A guy says to God: ""God... ... to you a minute is like a million years and a penny is like a million dollars. So, could you give me a penny?"" God replies ""Sure, in a minute"""

"I saw Stevie Wonder in concert the other night He didn't see me though"

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"*lives in a crumbling democracy on a slow terrible decline* hellll yes who just got two green lights in a row"

"I'm not lazy I chose to use my creative genius on mastering efficiency"

"Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert."

"If your mule ate my prize winning bird, what would you have? My 3 foot cock in your ass!"

"There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint. They collide... All the survivors were marooned."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? After ten years your job still sucks"