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Joke of the Day

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"Who's the only person known to have had sex with OP's mom? Sheriff Andy Taylor"

"No thank you, I don't need a coaster. I won't be putting my drink down."

"Two drummers walk into a bar... Ba dum tssh."

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"Roses are red, Violets are red... Actually, I think my garden's on fire"

"""Is this seat Taken?"" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair."

"I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!"

"How do you tell if a cat is a creative thinker? They shit outside the box."