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Joke of the Day
"If your mule ate my prize winning bird, what would you have? My 3 foot cock in your ass!"
Next Joke
"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"
"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"
"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
"Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR? Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!! http://imgur.com/2TKdb"
"luke, thats a persons name. whys everybodys star wars name gotta be like, hoobie doodoo or seb neb or something"
"I bet a lesbian geneticist would do a lot of lab work for a clone dike bar."
"Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width."
"Me: check out this new gadget. It carbonates anything! Friend: cool Me: yeah even blood Friend: um I gotta go Me: lol no you're staying"
"Country music is like a vacuum. . . As soon as you turn it off it stops sucking."